It's happening, it's really happening..

I've handed in my notice at my well paid job, I've sent off my student loan application and I've been accepted into University of Derby on the Marketing Management course starting in January.

What a month it's been. Since I last took my trip down to Derby I've met a few more people, slept with them all and decided to move cities, again. What's funny is the fact I'm headed back to Derby, but really, it's logical and nothing more. I hope.

Instead of waiting until next September to try out a PR and Marketing course elsewhere I thought I would rush ahead and try it out in Derby, in January. I'm not really in the mood for anyone down there, they're only going to drag me down. My plans are to get with a few trusted friends, (one of which is lending me his sofa as a backup plan in case I can't find a place) ignore the rest, or make sure they know I want nothing to do with them, block out some minor "friends" for a while and find some new ones (which won't happen! I'll have to shag them first), and new fuck buddies. I'm really quite excited. About it all as well.

I'll be selling my BMW, getting a nice cheque for my crashed car (if the witness is on my side) and buying another crappy car for insurance reasons. I pay £180 a month for my BMW right now. I will need something cheaper. I can't wait though. I'll get a big loan and two nice payments which will keep me in peace of mind that I always have a nice balance.

I was thinking though, even though work's a stress, I'll miss it. I leave on the 11th of January. Two employees have just gone on holiday so I'll only see the for two weeks'ish when they return since it's Christmas and things.

There's a work party/Christmas 'do to go to, which I feel a bit strange of going, but like a colleague said to me, I've been there 7 months and done significant and fantastic things. I deserve the credit and a seat at the 'do. Fuck them if they try make me feel bad for leaving.

I'm going to be leaving a few people behind as well, it's hard for me. I see people in different forms. Just recently my friend, Joel and I hooked up. Last time it happened we just met and ever since I stopped it from happening, but one night I just met him for a drink after work at the restaurant where he works and I saw him in a different light. I let myself slip. I know I shouldn't of, because he's my party person. We just got a bit more than Monday night partying and that's where it went wrong. He still owes me a fully cooked dinner since he's never cooked, yet he's a pro. chef; but that could be a bad idea.

Then there's Rob, who I met online I think. Ever since we shagged (again and again) he's been hooked on me. He'd call me when he's drunk and he seems mortified that I'm leaving. He thinks I'm sweet, kind and he knows I'm not an innocent.

Dan too, just recently he shagged me. He's got a great body, but that's not the only thing he has. We just click. It's unreal. He's like me. I'm more queeny, he's more straight, but by-gum, he's like my twin. This is one guy I'm not going to forget so easily.

I couldn't leave out Mr. DJ, Tim. I'm strapped for cash so I haven't seen him in a while. He's a sweet guy though. I'm attracted to him because he's older I think. He's got it all, house, job and that cheeky-ness.

I wonder if I envy those with settled lives? - I have no idea what I'm doing with mine. I don't want a man which makes everything complete. I just ditched my well paid job with great benefits. I'm going back to University, again.

What am I doing? - What the fuck am I doing?