Stuffed

I'm stuffed after a delicious three course meal celebrating my grandparents 50th wedding anniversary. Unfortunately I cannot attend their blessing tomorrow, however, I've seen them. I forgot to take their card I bought for them with me so I'll send that another day.

I've had quite a good week too. At the start it was slow, mainly because of work and the fact I was not kept as busy as I normally am; but then it started to speed up and before I knew it I was contemplating going out on Thursday. One of those student nights, oh aye. I gave in to temptation and headed right off to town.

I met a few friends out there and a few new friends too. I headed to Mission knowing I was on a tight budget for booze that week. Happily partying and what I think was sluty dancing with QC's DJ and ended up snoging, he left to grab a quick drink and I ended up sluty dancing with someone random who ended up being quite cute and hot. My new catch kindly pointed out who was staring at me, at which my ego inflated and out came some more sexy moves. The DJ never returned and I don't blame him, I was getting comfortable being a slut with my new catch. Later snoging my catch a few times, we finally introduce and guess what? - His name is Dan. Dammit. Just when I thought I was getting somewhere. It's pushing 3am and I obviously had work in the morning. The snog didn't help Dan and he wanted me back at my place. Standing my ground I told him all he'll get is my number; and he ended up getting it.

Me being a garlic fanatic. Garlic bread and garlic sauce always go together, I always seem to end up having it when I go out before partying. I don't know why I just give in and eat. Well, anyway, my mom told me that the garlic smell doesn't come off so easily after brushing. It got me thinking.. I've pulled many guys after having garlic breath (obviously after brushing), so does the smell of garlic put people off, or am I really to irresistible to let go?

I think it's time I didn't brush after garlic and see what happens..

Sidetracked

Well, my parents have been fucked over by a couple who was going to buy there house. Big style. They're now in debt and real debt and will lose their house abroad on Tuesday. I didn't know until yesterday that they were going to lose it. I knew they got fucked over but I didn't realise that they would lose the house.

What's happened is they've put a £9,000 deposit on this house, which they would of moved into last month but for unknown circumstances, the selling agency kept stalling. My mom's really upset. However, thankfully, I might be able to step in and save the day. They have until this Tuesday before they lose the house and their deposit altogether, but I've offered to get a mortgage for them and pay for this house abroad. Hopefully they will of rang someone abroad to tell them the plan and what will happen. If they get a general 'yes' it can be done, then as quickly as possible I will fly abroad or whatever you do these days, sign, get the cash and exchange it into the sellers hands. I just hope the seller will hold on a little longer this time, because I'm a definite guarantee.

My mom's going right to her solicitor to ask what can be done. Obviously the stall they made is dodgy and the contracts (which would of made this process alot easier should the couple who were going to buy the house in England backed out) should of been exchanged along time ago.

Oh, PR, PR, PR! My new idea.

Slipped a little something

After finishing work a little earlier than possible, I found myself stuck in traffic on the motorway and it was at a stand-still. I've never been in stand-still traffic after work, ever. An ambulance whizzed passed and I knew there had been an accident. I was stood still for about 20 minutes before it got going at about 5mph. I was worried I wasn't going to be able to get out in time!

Finally, I got home and started to exercise and do all my normal routined stuff. I text a friend, Marnee, who has been living in Manchester and he was coming out tonight. Yay! The smelly and sweaty me, was forced to take a bath because the shower is broken. It's becoming a real annoyance that shower. Plumbers tomorrow! Oh, and that reminds me, a viewing. Hope this one takes my room. Grr.

Off I went to party. I hit Queen's Court first for a few drinks and started to mingle before heading to Mission for hardcore partying. Somehow in the time I spent at Mission, which was not very long, I started to hurl. Not once, not twice, not even three times. Four times I threw up. So.. yeah, I had a lot to drink. But I had a lot less than what I normally consume on any night out. After the fourth hurl, I knew something was wrong. Off home I went.

I think I was slipped something but I've no idea at what point in the night. Still recovering; my stomach hurts and I feel drained.

My weekends officially over.

Submerged

Saturday, Submerged, Mission, Leeds. I'll be there. Two of my friends won't because they refuse to do the theme night. I'm not going in any costume; just my sexy self. I'll be going on my bill though, but who gives a hoot. I'm the kind of person who goes out looking to natter and paRty!

I should be meeting a guy there actually. Well, not meeting as such, but he could be there. He seems nice, but has that thing about him where he turned into one of those guys who keep repeating that I'm hot and blah, blah. So I know what he wants and it's not a chat.

I'm supposed to finish at 1:23pm today because I've been doing a bit of overtime and we're on flexitime. I'm trying to get this project done as soon as possible so I can get done all the other little bits. Hopefully, I'll have half a day tomorrow off so I can catch up with a few friends or all the one's I have in my phone. Since they got wiped I was pretty mortified.

I'm still looking for a new car as well. Since I got this BMW, I don't like it. It's big, it's chunky, it's going to be my death. I twitch and the power steering takes over!

I'm ignoring Dan's text messages for some reason. I don't know what's up with me or why I'm doing it, but it just feels right to do so. It might be because I think of him as just another person, rather than my best friend. I remember not too long ago when we went to NG1 in Nottingham. I called him on the day probably about 3 hours before I arrived telling him I was going and he was. Well, it was my first time there at NG1 (after spending a year in Derby and leaving) and he practically left me to it. He knows I'm the kind of guy who's forward, out there and speaks my mind, but I was lost at that time. Sure, I started talking to people. I mean, what else was there to do? -- But leaving me on my first night practically alone while he went off somewhere and nattered to his friends was uncalled for. I know for a fact if I did that to him in Leeds, he wouldn't be nattering to people, he would be clung to my side; but that's probably the difference. I know he's not like me, and he knows what I'm like. Is there really any justification? If he would leave me, should I leave him?

There's a Halloween party that he invited me to on the text message. I don't really want to go, so for the time being I'll just leave it. I think it's about time I enjoyed my weekend.

A long lost friend

After a shocking company meeting today telling me how my bonus is going to change next year I got a little worried. We all have target's to meet even though I sell nothing. However, my target is affected by how well the sales team perform and we all rely on each other in a sense. I've currently been cracking on creating two websites for my boss. Well, three, but one's a variation of the other.

It's taken me a while to do them all and get them completed. Two of them are fully finished and the other which has already been launched is still being tested. The boss decided he wanted to pull my entire development because of multiple things he didn't like and a few glitches which all really was approved before the launch. That really riled me up and I was so stressed that day. Eventually after he finished deciding, he got the entire development team on the website and those glitches and unfinished parts were almost finished in one day. When I saw those tasks being crossed off the list, I felt a huge burden taken off my shoulders. It gets boring developing the same thing day-in-day-out. At times a developer needs a break. I have to plough on forward creating the next project set aside which has a deadline of Thursday. This time, if I need extra help, I'll get it.

So.. back to the point. I was on my break and called Darren, a good friend and previous boyfriend (you could say so) from my University life. Now, we were always good friends until one point we fell out over something really stupid. But that's in the past. I just did my normal checks to see if he was alright and to get upto-date with his life. He's kind of sweet in a way that he always thinks I ring him last or go to Derby to see others and not just him. Sure, I travel to Derby often, I have alot of friends that clash with each other so I keep them apart. Sometimes I wish he would just take my word for it. I'm not a 'mushy' person so I come across slightly aggressive and forward. Everyone knows it but if I was one of those 'mushy' people I sure would be in the good books of everyone which wouldn't help myself at all. Hopefully he'll get back to me so I can go see him. I haven't seen him in along time, it's waaay overdue.

He's a guy with alot of emotions though and that's why I like him. He's not trying to be something he's not. He's not hooked on having boyfriends 24/7 and likes to have fun. With Darren, I have no downers; only uppers.

54 days ago..

Ahh, calm and cool and not much stress today. As per my daily astro by e-mail, it told me to take a lazy day and that’s what’s been happening. I ended up doing small tasks and just generally chilling with the employees downstairs. It’s officially one hour until the 22^nd, which is my birthday and I really don’t care. I found out most of my “friends” wont be attending my party on Friday this week, partly because some have no money, some are on holiday and whatever other reason they could scrounge up. Whatever though. I booked a hotel in Manchester to stay over the weekend where I and Dan will party until we keel over and possibly die!

Speaking of which, it seems Dan might be a slight bit interested in me. I started yapping on about how I have plans to bed some guy, whether or not he’s in the room at the time and he got a little strange. I don’t know what word to place there so this is my language and it’s ‘strange’. So.. yeah.. Strange. He apparently won’t be shagging anyone and I have no idea why. Possibly because he thinks he’s got a chance with his ex-boyfriend, who knows?

I was just speaking to Joel and Tim though text and it seems Joel is a little calm this time. Except the use of the word ‘gorgeous’ when he first sent me the text. I think he’s coming on Friday but that’s still an uncertainty.

Tim on the other hand won’t be able to go because he’s at work. I will see him while he’s working though, so that’s not bad. He’s out on the razz at the moment and we were just texting each other. I’m horny and wanted him tonight. He’s out and I can’t have him. It ended up in a little sexy chat and then me saying I have to go to sleep, in which I called him ‘bud’ – something I do to all of my friends. He promptly replied with something like ‘Ok BUD. Night!’. I’m not sure if he took offence or weather the drink is doing something to him and he’s finally showing his true emoticons. Then again, I could be reading waaay too much into it all and completely missing the point. But that’s what body language experts do and it does look like that part would be the easy option out, eh?

So it’s my birthday tomorrow and I’m just going to be chilling with the family. I think we might be going for a meal, so I’ll take some nice clothes just in case we are. I get to spend a bit of time with them and chill out. Yay. That’s where I’ll probably end up saying how I hate my job and I really want a change and possibly if they’re lucky they’ll hear me yap on about how I want to move cities. That’s when they butt in with how it’s all about the money, money, money; but it really isn’t.

I don’t feel excited abut my 19^th birthday. The fact being it's nothing special and well most of my friends ain’t going to be here with me spending time. Not even Craig from Halifax who lives like 10 miles away. It’s really getting me down this ‘no friends’ shite. I still class Dan as my best friend to date. But I have a strange feeling something this weekend is going to change all that and I’m definitely not going to make any move. I hope im wrong though. I don’t really want to be another quick shag – there’s a point when you just need some good friends.

There’s also a point that on the weekend I’ll need a GOOD shag.

We're alike..

So I've been passing e-mails back and forth to one of my friends while at work. He told me he's created a blog and off I dashed to read it. The first post, on the 14th October was a lengthy read. It was filled with depression until the very end where he stated 'I'm happy to be single'. It got me thinking.. That we're actually quite alike. Sure, he's older, wiser and most probably experienced life more than myself, yet, he's like me.

He's been stuck in a town he doesn't like.
He's got to the stage where he's moved out.
He's got to the next stage where he's moved again.
He hates his job to the point his colleagues are the only things keeping him there.

The only thing that currently separates us from each other is the fact he opens up to other people and has been hurt because of that. I let no one in. No boyfriends for me and for that exact fact -- being hurt. Or is it? I'll never really know why I don't want a boyfriend. There's alot of things about having one that don't appeal to me and the obvious being sex with alot of people is not one of them. Strange, huh? I do get alot of shockers when I respond to people with "No, I'm single" and I guess they've every right. I'm not mingin', I'm down to earth and I'm real.

I definitely have trust issues. The only person who comes close to being trusted by me is my friend Dan. Friend? - It's a bit of an understatement; he's my best friend, but I don't think he knows it. I'm not one for big mushy moments so he'll never know either. I was chatting to him online one night telling him how much I trusted him (which in reality is not alot, but in my terms is alot) and he told me he held back tears. Who knew that was a mushy moment.

Even though I can say right now, I don't want one. I know 1000% I don't want to be alone when I'm older. Now whether that means friends will fulfill my life so I'm never alone or I actually really want a boyfriend deep down is yet to be seen.