So I've been passing e-mails back and forth to one of my friends while at work. He told me he's created a blog and off I dashed to read it. The first post, on the 14th October was a lengthy read. It was filled with depression until the very end where he stated 'I'm happy to be single'. It got me thinking.. That we're actually quite alike. Sure, he's older, wiser and most probably experienced life more than myself, yet, he's like me.
He's been stuck in a town he doesn't like.
He's got to the stage where he's moved out.
He's got to the next stage where he's moved again.
He hates his job to the point his colleagues are the only things keeping him there.
The only thing that currently separates us from each other is the fact he opens up to other people and has been hurt because of that. I let no one in. No boyfriends for me and for that exact fact -- being hurt. Or is it? I'll never really know why I don't want a boyfriend. There's alot of things about having one that don't appeal to me and the obvious being sex with alot of people is not one of them. Strange, huh? I do get alot of shockers when I respond to people with "No, I'm single" and I guess they've every right. I'm not mingin', I'm down to earth and I'm real.
I definitely have trust issues. The only person who comes close to being trusted by me is my friend Dan. Friend? - It's a bit of an understatement; he's my best friend, but I don't think he knows it. I'm not one for big mushy moments so he'll never know either. I was chatting to him online one night telling him how much I trusted him (which in reality is not alot, but in my terms is alot) and he told me he held back tears. Who knew that was a mushy moment.
Even though I can say right now, I don't want one. I know 1000% I don't want to be alone when I'm older. Now whether that means friends will fulfill my life so I'm never alone or I actually really want a boyfriend deep down is yet to be seen.
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