54 days ago..

Ahh, calm and cool and not much stress today. As per my daily astro by e-mail, it told me to take a lazy day and that’s what’s been happening. I ended up doing small tasks and just generally chilling with the employees downstairs. It’s officially one hour until the 22^nd, which is my birthday and I really don’t care. I found out most of my “friends” wont be attending my party on Friday this week, partly because some have no money, some are on holiday and whatever other reason they could scrounge up. Whatever though. I booked a hotel in Manchester to stay over the weekend where I and Dan will party until we keel over and possibly die!

Speaking of which, it seems Dan might be a slight bit interested in me. I started yapping on about how I have plans to bed some guy, whether or not he’s in the room at the time and he got a little strange. I don’t know what word to place there so this is my language and it’s ‘strange’. So.. yeah.. Strange. He apparently won’t be shagging anyone and I have no idea why. Possibly because he thinks he’s got a chance with his ex-boyfriend, who knows?

I was just speaking to Joel and Tim though text and it seems Joel is a little calm this time. Except the use of the word ‘gorgeous’ when he first sent me the text. I think he’s coming on Friday but that’s still an uncertainty.

Tim on the other hand won’t be able to go because he’s at work. I will see him while he’s working though, so that’s not bad. He’s out on the razz at the moment and we were just texting each other. I’m horny and wanted him tonight. He’s out and I can’t have him. It ended up in a little sexy chat and then me saying I have to go to sleep, in which I called him ‘bud’ – something I do to all of my friends. He promptly replied with something like ‘Ok BUD. Night!’. I’m not sure if he took offence or weather the drink is doing something to him and he’s finally showing his true emoticons. Then again, I could be reading waaay too much into it all and completely missing the point. But that’s what body language experts do and it does look like that part would be the easy option out, eh?

So it’s my birthday tomorrow and I’m just going to be chilling with the family. I think we might be going for a meal, so I’ll take some nice clothes just in case we are. I get to spend a bit of time with them and chill out. Yay. That’s where I’ll probably end up saying how I hate my job and I really want a change and possibly if they’re lucky they’ll hear me yap on about how I want to move cities. That’s when they butt in with how it’s all about the money, money, money; but it really isn’t.

I don’t feel excited abut my 19^th birthday. The fact being it's nothing special and well most of my friends ain’t going to be here with me spending time. Not even Craig from Halifax who lives like 10 miles away. It’s really getting me down this ‘no friends’ shite. I still class Dan as my best friend to date. But I have a strange feeling something this weekend is going to change all that and I’m definitely not going to make any move. I hope im wrong though. I don’t really want to be another quick shag – there’s a point when you just need some good friends.

There’s also a point that on the weekend I’ll need a GOOD shag.